Pregnancy

The amazing moving placenta & the waiting game

It’s 6am and I’m laid in an unfamiliar hospital bed. You see I went into my local hospital with a sharp lower back pain on and off and a few cramps like period type cramps that Werner really regular.

The pains came on on Wednesday 16th but as they Werner regular and I had an appointment already on the Thursday I just waiting until then. Where they sent me round to the maternity ward to be monitored.

I spoke briefly about about my placenta being low in a previous post. However while I have been monitored and babies have been monitored I have had a few Drs and my consultant unbeknown to me looking at my previous scans and notes.
They decided Friday afternoon that I should have an MRI scan to check the position of the placenta fully. As non of the photos were clear enough.
They are worried Incase it’s attached to organs or my previous section scaring – this could cause major bleeding
So while I had breakfast lunch & dinner at hotel NHS they went off to try and book this.
Unfortunately they came back and being a weekend with several bigger hospitals staff to do the MRI on leave (as I’m not actually in labour or bleeding I’m non emergency) we have to wait until Monday. But because there is a high risk of placenta bleeding if I go into labour I have to stay in.

Well not only stay in but be transferred to a different hospital over an hour from my home & my children where if I do happen to labour or bleed they have more measures in place to cope.
So at 6am I lay here in a bay in a ward by myself. Hubby left at about midnight as he just couldn’t get comfy.

I am laid here on a Saturday morning in the quiet not the normal mummy can I have my I pad. Mummy can I have breakfast at grandmas. Mummy can I watch telly in your bed.
And although family & friends keep saying make the most of it. I can’t help laying here anxious about what’s going to happen Petrified of worst! And laid here missing my big babies and feeling guilty that we chose to have more and now I’m having to be away from them.

Drs will be due after breakfast and I think they are going to tell me that not only do I have to wait for Monday for a scan but when I go for it I will have to got to yet another bigger city hospital for it!

Let’s hope it’s all ok and not attached and I can go home and rest for a week and a bit while I wait for my planned section that I had only just started getting my head around.

Is much rather wake up to these two. Noise or no noise.

Health & Wellbeing, Wellbeing

To the one who thinks I have it together!!

To the one who thinks I have it together.

I feel like a fraud when you tell me who calm I seem. The truth is I’m so far from having it together.

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So even though I may be chilled when I get around the corner to school that’s because I already lost my shit over the breakfast table. The kids wouldn’t eat and as we were up late I was feeling bad that I should have got up earlier. I felt bad that I had to rush them to eat breakfast but not as bad as I would have felt had I took them to school with no food.

I may look like my kids are dressed well but the truth is I forget to wash last night and the last jumper they had was covered in some kind of stain about 20 mins ago but I scrubbed it with the dishcloth and it’s actually still wet in places!

My daughter’s hair is in a French plait this morning, however, that’s because she slept in it last night!

I may look like I am ok with this twin mothering stuff but in actual fact, I’ve spent most of today in tears or shouting because I have so much going on in my life at the moment that I’m not handling anything very well.

After half term I may look like I have it together, however, I will be feeling guilty that I’ve wasted the half term anxious and upset with myself!

I will have plans on being a better mum during the 6 weeks when in reality I will be almost full term in this pregnancy and fighting against fatigue and anxiety again!

I may look like I have my shit together, look calm, but inside my head is swimming and my heart pounding and it’s all I can do some days to get my kids to school on time just so I can have a hot cuppa and not play referee for the day!

Some days I’m that late my kids run in without even saying bye, then I spend half the morning worrying about them. worrying that if something happened to me or them that I never hugged them when they went into school that morning!

So Thank you for saying I seem like the calm mum who has it together but in reality, I’m really fighting the same battle as other mums on the school run!

 

Nina x

Friends, Parenting 101

Lone Parenting – Pros & Cons

So hubby has gone away to work again!

Every time he works away the week or two before his mood dips and my anxiety heightens.

So I’m on my own again! It’s only a week this time and I know there are some out there that are single parents all the time! There are some out there whose hubbys are away 6 month’s at a time!

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But pros and cons of being a lone parent!

 Pros

  • I can watch tv at all hours of the night! – Sometimes when I can’t sleep I like to listen to a sitcom like Miranda or not going out. but when hubby is fast asleep I don’t like to put tv on!
  • Snuggles in bed with the kids – Okay we have snuggles most nights but when it’s just us I love that they fall asleep snuggled up to me! we chat about our day and plan what we are doing tomorrow!
  • I tend to read more when hubby is away – I can grab a cuppa and a book and sit and read once the kids have gone to sleep.
  • There is more hot water – one less bath means more hot water for me to have a bath!
  • Less washing – Hubby goes though more clothes a week than the kids!

Cons

  • I feel very alone at night – once I’ve locked the door I know the only people I’m going to see is my kids and although I love them lots it’s no substitution for my hubby!
  • I tend to eat rubbish when hubby is away  – It’s no fun cooking meals for people who would rather have a happy meal!
  • Reassuring hugs & kisses – If I have a bad day when hubby is away There is no one to hug away the bad feelings of the day!
  • I don’t really sleep very well when hubby is away – Despite sometimes having sleepless nights anyway, when hubby is away he tends to be in a different time zone and somehow I adopt that time zone too!
  • My anxiety goes through the roof when hubby is way – My brain is on over drive with what ifs.
  • There is no-one else to put the kids in bed – If the kids fall asleep not in bed I have to be the one to carry them to bed!
  • I feel sad that hubby is missing things – The kids do something that makes me proud, or we make a memory together , Hubby is missing them.

I miss him when he is away!

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I will get through the week, I will miss him then he will be back and I will be moaning about him again within days!

 

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Channel Mum, Friends, Health & Wellbeing, Wellbeing

World Mental Health Day – My Story

Hi All,

Today Is World Mental Health day, Each year The world health organisation recognises World Mental health Day

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This year the theme is psychological first aid!

You can read more about it over on the mental health foundation website!

To help with Mental health issues we are encouraged to talk more openly about mental health so today around the country hundreds of people will be gathering in a fundraising initiative called Tea & Talk.

So today I am welcoming you for a cuppa with me as I tell you my mental health story!

If you would like to know more about mental health day or Tea & Talk head on over to the mental health foundation website!

If you enjoyed this cuppa & Chat Please make a donation here

And please like comment and subscribe for more videos from me!

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Blogging, Friends

Liebster Award

Last week when I logged into Instagram I found I had been tagged in a post by The Lovely Mum but Still Me 

She had nominated me for The Liebster Award Tag –

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Basically The idea is to promote new Blogs. You answer a series of questions and then set your own and tag up to 11 other new bloggers to do the same.

I thought but I don’t know that many New blogs! – So i took to Facebook to find some others that would like to be nominated!

Do you know I’m glad I did I’ve now connected with some other bloggers that I probably would have not connected with otherwise.

You see the thing about blogging is the community feel of it – Especially around the parenting blogs – They are like having an extended circle of friends. Others that are going through or have gone through the same things.

Rules

  1. Write a blog post about your nomination, displaying an image of the award.
  2. Thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.
  3. Answer the 11 questions the person who nominated you asked you in his/her blog post.
  4. Nominate 5-11 other starting bloggers who you think deserve this award, and come up with 11 questions of your own for them to answer. I’ve actually got 13 
  5. List these rules in your blog post.

SO first to answer The questions I was sent:

  1. What is the biggest lesson that motherhood taught you so far?  That no matter how prepared you think you are things can and probably will turn out different to what you expected. 
  2. What’s your guilty pleasure? Clean with me video’s on YouTube – I often watch them instead of actually cleaning 😉
  3. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?  I always wanted to be a graphic designer but then in my final year my mum was ill and It was as if my brain suddenly forgot how to draw.
  4. What makes a great party for you? I love to host so I like to know everyone is having a good time. but ultimately a great group of friends and good food make a good party. 
  5. How do you deal with your fears? I have anxiety so there are many things I fear but my “normal” fear is spiders this is generally dealt with by running away or shouting the hubby.
  6. What does blogging mean to you? I started blogging when I struggled with conceiving and suffered with insomnia It was a bit of an outlet for my emotions and thoughts. A kind of therapy. Now its much more than that Its a community that I love meeting up with other bloggers and connecting on social media.
  7. How would you describe your style? Eclectic – I don’t really have a particular style – Id like to think I’m a little but boho but I also love my jeans & jumpers really anything I feel comfy in!
  8. What can’t you live without? My Iphone – Oh and my husband and kids 
  9. What is your most treasured possession? Did I just mention my Iphone 😉
  10. What do you love the most about yourself? My determination! 
  11. How do you want to grow old? My husband and I often say we want to be that carefree couple walking hand in hand on the beach. To be Honest since losing a few close friends and family all around 90 years young  I keep saying If I get to 90 and are as fit and happy as they were then I’d take that! 

 

It’s now time for me to nominate New blogs from around the interweb!

I thought it was going to be hard finding new bloggers out there but after turning to Facebook here I am with not just 5 or 6 but 13 new bloggers all eagerly  awaiting my questions 🙂

New Blogs for you to check out!

  1. Life Through Rosie’s Len
  2. Flump has two Mummies 
  3. Life Of An Auntie 
  4. Counting to Ten 
  5. Hooked
  6. The Unsung Mum 
  7. Someones mum 
  8. And then she said
  9. You, Me and the 6 C’s
  10. The Mediocre Mum
  11. Living with Jude
  12. Bell and Bear 
  13. Organised Jo 

 

My questions to the above bloggers

  1. What or who inspired you to blog?
  2. Who would you invite to a dinner party?
  3. If you had to give up one what would it be out of Tea, Coffee, Alcohol?
  4. Whats your favorite view?
  5. Who is your inspiration in life?
  6. Whats the best piece of advise you’ve been given?
  7. What is at the top of your bucket list?
  8. Is there anything you would do differently if you could?
  9. Whats the one place you would love to see if money were no object?
  10. What would you do with a lottery win?
  11. How do you relax?

So now its over to you!

Don’t forget to check out the blogs above and leave a comment or two

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Christmas, Friends, Hygge, Wellbeing

Autumn is Coming – Finding Hygge

Hi All,

Thursday is the first day of autumn and for once I am ready for it.

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I am ready for the jumpers and boots and scarves. I’m ready  to take the kids jumping in puddles. I’m ready for long Sunday walks in the woods to collect pine cones for crafting.

In previous years I have suffered more with my mental health in the cooler less sunny months. I’m not sure It’s as bad as seasonal effective disorder but I do feel more anxiety.

So this year I am preparing for the duller days in advance. So far I have bought a new bulb for my lumie light so that I can wake to a sunshine simulation even when the mornings are dark.

I am filling my cupboards with vitamins and I am going to make an effort to get outside even in the rain!

A couple of weeks ago I bought a book all about Hygge  (pronounced Hue-Gah)- The Danish are the happiest nation apparently yet they have the longest winter days. however they embrace the dark and fill it with hygge.

I have set my self the intention to live a hygge Autumn/ Winter – Embracing the darkness filling it with cosy things!

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I have set up a Pinterest board to help me find inspiration and I have already reorganised my living room to a more cosy layout.

So what is Hygge?

Well there is no direct translation Hygge Is a noun, its thought to mean a warm and fuzzy feeling, cosyness and general feeling of inside warmth.

What are the main points to consider when trying to embrace Hygge?

Lighting – Low level warm lighting. Think fairy lights, toned down lamps, and more often candles.

Blankets – Warm comfy blankets, throws, something you can throw over you when it is a little chilly outside.

Activities – Non screen activities like needle craft, board games, telling stories, singing. to name a few.

Singing – This is thought to be an important part of Hygge. Singing releases endorphin’s making you feel good. as well as a whole host of other benefits.

Friends / Family – Although hygge can be embraced on your own why not grab a group of friends and or family and embrace together.

Food – Autumnal style food is considered hyggelig think soups, stews, crumbles, hot chocolate, mulled wine or cider.

So now I have armed myself with the principles of Hygge I will be trying my best to make these colder months feel more Hygge.

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I am not an expert this is just my opnions on hygge.

 

Precious Moments, Wellbeing

Anxiety, major events, avoiding the news! 

There are some days that you just remember like yesterday. 

One is the morning that news broke of Diana’s death – my firmed and I had been out the night before and stayed at another friends house over night. We woke to the news. “Diana princess of Wales has been killed in a horrific car accident.” 

We were a little in shock were we still drunk. – no. Unfortunately the news was true. Those boys left without a mother. They were only young. Just a little younger than myself. 

The other is when the planes hit the twin towers of New York. – The trade centre towers. As usual my mum and I had been arguing, I’m not sure what this was about but I ended up leaving in a bad mood and went to my aunts. When we arrived my uncle had the tv on with the news that shook the world. A plane has struck one of the towers. And right there in front of our eyes as the report broke another plane struck the other tower! 

News like this unfortunately nowadays makes me fall into anxity and I end up worrying for days. 

My husband travels the world with his work and when he’s not travelling he’s in London. We now have two children together and I worry about the fragility of life. More than I should. 

It’s hard being a part time lone parent.  It’s hard being a wife to someone who travels so much for work in a world where because of social media, and the hype around terrorism the world is just a bit more scary now I’m a grown up! 

Do you remember where you were on the days that major events around the globe happened?

It’s odd how our brains can remember the feels, sights & sounds of days like this but sometime I struggle to remember what I went upstairs for!  

So what do we do now? 

 We take time to remember those affected by such tragic days we remember on  anniversaries but we live ther rest of the time. We can’t live in fear. We strive to be strong for those left behind. We help each other make a better world. 

To those gone. Thankyou for the memories. 

To those grieving. Tomorrow is a new day and you will get stronger. 


To the rest of us. Smile, help, love, & be grateful. 
Thanks for reading 

Nina. 

Fitness Friday, Health & Wellbeing, Wellbeing

Fitness Friday.Walking, Stress & ECG

Good morning, Its time for fitness Friday again.

I missed last week due to lone parenting and school holidays – But fear not I am back this week and I now have a plan for scheduling. ( That will be another blog post)

So where am I at?

  • Well the past 2 week I’m still only averaging around 5000 steps
  • I Have been swimming twice a week.
  • I have managed more outdoor time!

Today I have the heart monitor I mentioned in the last Fitness Friday post

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Funnily enough the flutters have actually calmed down a lot now – So i think it was probably the anxiety!

I am trying to make changes to my day to cut down the stress I feel and generally make me healthier.

Goals for the future! 

  • Still trying for the 10,000 steps
  • Drink more water
  • Take vitamins each day
  • Swim three times a week
  • Yoga at least 4 times a week
  • Night time meditation instead of TV

When I get back the results from this ECG (monitor) I will be creating a better plan for my physical fitness – I may try and get back into the couch to 5k. Running is so good for the feel good chemical – Dopamine and Serotonin.

Anyway that’s the update I have for you this week.img_78691.jpg

See you next week when I have my results back.

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Fitness Friday, Health & Wellbeing, Wellbeing

Fitness Friday – So close!

If you follow my instagram feed and My Fitness Pal account  you will see that from Monday I started logging my food & tracking my steps –

I started the week quite terrible – It was my birthday on Monday so my food included chocolate cake! and as we had been camping over the weekend my watch was flat so I couldn’t track my steps either!

However as the week progresses I have done a lot better. I got up to 8500 steps on Wednesday – This was walking J & M to holiday club I also managed to fit a swimming session in too!

This morning I was hopeful that I could have hit the 10000 with a holiday club run and some free time for a walk around the village – Unfortunately M was poorly in the night and having a day off from Holiday club so you will have to check out my instagram feed later to see how I got on!

I thought I could also fit in a swim today but again with M off I couldn’t take her with me! Also My time of the month just arrived and she’s makes herself well-known so I’m just going to end up having a lazy day I think!

Updates

I’ve rejoined the Spa! – The motivation to swim there is so much better I feel so much more relaxed there!

Next step is to get up earlier and get a yoga sequence in before J & M get up. Yoga makes me feel so much better for the day ahead.

This past week knowing that you are following my progress has been my motivation, so this week my plan is a “a week of yoga” vlog on my YouTube channel.

The video will hopefully go live at the same time as next weeks Fitness Friday post.

To see how I get on don’t forget to subscribe to my Channel, Follow my Instagram feed & Follow me here on my blog!

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Health & Wellbeing, Meet Other Mums Posts, Wellbeing

Another Baby?

Lately we, as a family, have been toying with the idea of having another baby.

I have two healthy children who are on a whole happy.

So why would we want another baby?

I had a planned but unwanted C Section – I have never really got over the fact that my children came out of the sunroof so to speak.  They were taken out 4 weeks before the due date according to when they were conceived.  They turned at every scan so chances are they could have turned again had they left them a bit longer.c965e1d0208d83623be8910d06517035

Anyway that’s another blog post!

I never wanted children until I found someone I wanted to make a family with then we wanted a big family.

I would love to have all my grown children round for dinner with their partners.

I love the moment in the film ‘It’s Complicated’ where her children are there and they are all having dinner around the table laughing and generally having a good time!

I would love to have those mornings again bonding with my new baby, (that newborn baby smell, the little noises they make) and generally getting to know each other.

Myself and Hubby are not getting any younger and I think if we don’t try again now it’s going to be too late!

However, in order to get my body and mind free of medication, I stopped (through the doctor’s advice) taking the tablets that I was on for depression.

I have felt myself dip! I’m crying a lot more. My anxiety is off the scale. I’m scared of everything!

I’m not sure trying to get pregnant is the right thing to do!

I think I need to be happy and present within the family I have got rather than trying to extend the family.

I think I need to get my wellbeing in shape.

I love my family and want to do all I can to keep them happy and safe!

I need to learn to accept that things don’t always go as planned.

I am going to concentrate being a better mum, step mum and wife to the family I have.

Although I would rather not be back on the meds I think if it’s what is going to keep me and my family happy then it is the right thing to do!

I have been to the doctor today and talked it through with her and, for now, I’m going to try using St, Johns Wart and she has referred me back for talking therapy.

If we still decide, in the future, that we want to extend our family, then maybe we will look into other options like adoption!

But just for now I’m going to concentrate on working on a better version of myself!

 

This post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com

 

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