Health & Wellbeing, Parenting 101, Tips

How do I explain death to my 4 year olds?

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In the four years my children have been alive a number special people in our lives have died. The Twins had been a little young to know whats happening. When I lost my Nan my twins were only two. They will have noticed she wasn’t here anymore however they don’t really remember her! 

A couple of days ago however the next door neighbour of my nan (who I have known since they both moved there about 30 years ago ) died – She had been having a few health issues over the past year but had such a positive outlook! She was in her 90s and so much more agile than my nan was at 90!

As I came off the phone to my mum I realised I was crying and J & M were looking at me!

I tried to explain but I don’t think they understood!

I tried the well “Mrs G” won’t be here anymore she has gone to be with my nanny somewhere in the stars!

Can we see her they asked! – I told them that we wouldn’t be able to see her again now.

I didn’t know what to say –  I think many of us are inept at dealing with death. I was talking to someone the other day who said I the olden days death was just what happened. In fact in times of poverty it was probably a bit of a relief as sick couldn’t work so therefore were a burden!  These times we as family dealt with the funeral ourselves.

Nowadays that job is usually  given to a funeral home so we only ever talk  about death through closed doors!

I am one of those inept people – I don’t deal with death very well and therefore am a little scared of my own mortality or selfishly the mortality of people around me (what will I feel when there gone?)

So with all this in mind I want to do the right thing by my two. I don’t want them to grow up with this fear that I have and that my dad had that death is something to fear so much so that it interferes with living!

Googling how to talk to a preschooler about death I came up with many don’ts

  • Don’t tell them that the person has gone to sleep – This may cause the child to not want to go to sleep
  • Don’t tell them the person has gone away – Leaving the child may then be an issue as they may think you have “gone away”
  • Don’t tell them the person has been so good that jesus wanted them – The child might start playing up so they don’t get chosen
  • Don’t tell the child the person is happy now they have gone – the child might question why the person is so happy when everyone around them is sad!

So what do I say instead?

What do I say to my 4 year olds about where this person who was a part of our lives is now?

How do explain death to them?

If you have any words of wisdom please leave in the comments below or message me on facebook.

Thanks

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Fitness Friday, Health & Wellbeing, Wellbeing

Fitness Friday – So close!

If you follow my instagram feed and My Fitness Pal account  you will see that from Monday I started logging my food & tracking my steps –

I started the week quite terrible – It was my birthday on Monday so my food included chocolate cake! and as we had been camping over the weekend my watch was flat so I couldn’t track my steps either!

However as the week progresses I have done a lot better. I got up to 8500 steps on Wednesday – This was walking J & M to holiday club I also managed to fit a swimming session in too!

This morning I was hopeful that I could have hit the 10000 with a holiday club run and some free time for a walk around the village – Unfortunately M was poorly in the night and having a day off from Holiday club so you will have to check out my instagram feed later to see how I got on!

I thought I could also fit in a swim today but again with M off I couldn’t take her with me! Also My time of the month just arrived and she’s makes herself well-known so I’m just going to end up having a lazy day I think!

Updates

I’ve rejoined the Spa! – The motivation to swim there is so much better I feel so much more relaxed there!

Next step is to get up earlier and get a yoga sequence in before J & M get up. Yoga makes me feel so much better for the day ahead.

This past week knowing that you are following my progress has been my motivation, so this week my plan is a “a week of yoga” vlog on my YouTube channel.

The video will hopefully go live at the same time as next weeks Fitness Friday post.

To see how I get on don’t forget to subscribe to my Channel, Follow my Instagram feed & Follow me here on my blog!

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Health & Wellbeing, Meet Other Mums Posts, Wellbeing

Another Baby?

Lately we, as a family, have been toying with the idea of having another baby.

I have two healthy children who are on a whole happy.

So why would we want another baby?

I had a planned but unwanted C Section – I have never really got over the fact that my children came out of the sunroof so to speak.  They were taken out 4 weeks before the due date according to when they were conceived.  They turned at every scan so chances are they could have turned again had they left them a bit longer.c965e1d0208d83623be8910d06517035

Anyway that’s another blog post!

I never wanted children until I found someone I wanted to make a family with then we wanted a big family.

I would love to have all my grown children round for dinner with their partners.

I love the moment in the film ‘It’s Complicated’ where her children are there and they are all having dinner around the table laughing and generally having a good time!

I would love to have those mornings again bonding with my new baby, (that newborn baby smell, the little noises they make) and generally getting to know each other.

Myself and Hubby are not getting any younger and I think if we don’t try again now it’s going to be too late!

However, in order to get my body and mind free of medication, I stopped (through the doctor’s advice) taking the tablets that I was on for depression.

I have felt myself dip! I’m crying a lot more. My anxiety is off the scale. I’m scared of everything!

I’m not sure trying to get pregnant is the right thing to do!

I think I need to be happy and present within the family I have got rather than trying to extend the family.

I think I need to get my wellbeing in shape.

I love my family and want to do all I can to keep them happy and safe!

I need to learn to accept that things don’t always go as planned.

I am going to concentrate being a better mum, step mum and wife to the family I have.

Although I would rather not be back on the meds I think if it’s what is going to keep me and my family happy then it is the right thing to do!

I have been to the doctor today and talked it through with her and, for now, I’m going to try using St, Johns Wart and she has referred me back for talking therapy.

If we still decide, in the future, that we want to extend our family, then maybe we will look into other options like adoption!

But just for now I’m going to concentrate on working on a better version of myself!

 

This post first appeared on www.meetothermums.com

 

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Days Out, Precious Moments, Travel, Travel with Twins

Traveling with Twins- Glamping at Finca de Arrieta Lanzarote.

Well last Thursday we returned from a holiday in Lanzarote, while we were there we booked into a Yurt for a couple of nights. SAMSUNG CSC

From Friday afternoon when we checked in to Sunday morning when we checked out I went offline! – This is a great place to do a phone detox. – More on this in a later post!

Lanzarote Retreats have an amazing portfolio of properties and an eco village, Finca De Arrieta where we stayed.

We arrived on the Friday afternoon and Self Checked in,  the key hanging in the door of the yurt. In the private garden of  our yurt was a modern kitchen area, in it was a welcome basket with tea, milk coffee & snacks.

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We soon unpacked our bag and had a wander around the site.

First into the community area which housed  an honesty fridge” where you need to be careful as its easy to strike up quite a tab when you’re not parting with money there and then!

There is a comfy floor cushion area great for having a go with the guitar that’s there.

 

Out side this is the shared pool. The pool is in the style of Cesar Manrique(An Artist and architect born in Lanzarote) It is solar heated and is a great size for kids to have a splash or to do a few lengths first thing in a morning.

We arrived in the heat of the day so head to the “honesty Shop” and grab a couple of ice lollies  to cool down.

Once the sun has gone down a little we explore the rest of the site. Grabbing a couple of carrots that I’ve been told to bring we head to feed the donkeys who I’m told may be pregnant. Near the donkeys are the chickens. there were no eggs for us that day but we did manage to get one on our last day.

There is only one thing to do after seeing the animals and that’s to test out the play park!

After working up an appetite on the play equipment we went back to the yurt and fire up our very own BBQ . While Daddy is on chef duty J&M take a nap in the Hammock .

For a treat after dinner we took a walk down the path to the beach with J&M’s new kites.

It’s soon dark, and we finally manage to put the kids in bed (everything was just too exciting so they didn’t want to go to bed) and hubby and I have a drink sat on the sun loungers (now Moon loungers) and we watch the stars. Up that end of the Island there is so little light pollution its great for stargazing We could even see mars!

The next morning we woke and had a lazy morning I went for a swim, the kids played in the shared covered day bed near by and hubby sat with his coffee on one of the sunloungers by the pool.

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In the evening we had a drive out but J&M were both tired and grumpy so we headed back to a nearby restaurant and while dinner arrived they had a little play on the beach – The restaurant is just a little walk from the Finca De Arrietta.

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That night we did a little more star-gazing.

The next day I woke early before the sun had risen from the sea and I spotted a  lady we had made friends with the day before. We watched the sunrise and drank a cuppa before anyone else even knew it was a new day.

Soon after another swim it was time to check out and pay for all of the things we had put on our tab from the honesty shop!

I would recommend this place to anyone wanting a quality Glamping experience – The accommodation was comfy and clean & the whole site feels safe for my children to play.

The pool & community areas were amazing and they were cleaned every day!

We will definitely be going again to Finca De Arrieta. It was great to just switch off for a while. The kids loved the play park and feeding the Donkeys, We all enjoyed looking if the chickens had laid any eggs!

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*This post is not sponsored and our trip was paid for in full by ourselves This is an honest opinion of our stay!

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Fitness Friday, Health & Wellbeing

Fitness Friday – 10,000 Steps & 4 pints of water?

Good Morning everyone.

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I need to up the ante regarding my fitness and well-being.

If you saw Mays post ‘They weren’t all toned size 6′ you will know that I joined the Bannatynes Gym.

However I’m not really feeling motivated at Bannatynes to be honest.

I think I am going to go back to the spa after this month has finished as it just feel better there, the pool is brighter and the atmosphere is more calming!

I never got around to joining the zumba class – I was ill the first week then my anxiety was on high alert so I never got around to going!

With my emotional health in mind the spa is a better choice for me!

So to improve my emotional health & fitness I have gone back to basics – I have donned the I Watch and started tracking my steps.

We are supposed to be taking around 10,000 steps per day to be classed as active. For the past week I have only managed 5,000 per day So this is where I think I need to start.

Also water plays a vital part of our well-being we should be drinking 8 x 8oz glasses of water per day converted to pints that’s around 4 pints I think I’m drinking half of that.

I have one pint before bed and half a pint on waking. then about another pint through the day. So not bad but I do drink a lot of tea too!

As soon as I get back from my camping weekend with the girls I really need to put some exercise back into my everyday.

I’m going to be tracking my steps on my iwatch and adding yoga to my mornings again!

I will be doing a weekly post called Fitness friday here I will update you with anything I’m doing fitness wise as well as posting how many steps I’ve managed to do each day

along with my weekly post I will be on Instagram each evening with my daily steps and water consumption.  Follow me here to see how I do & If you fancy joining in post your steps with the hashtag #rfacsteps I will repost as many as I can!

I would also like to get back into watching what I eat I have joined my fitness pal Hopefully I will manage to track what I eat!

If you would like to follow me on here just click the picture.

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Please leave me some words of encouragement below.

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram to check up on my daily steps.

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Health & Wellbeing, Precious Moments

Thoughts for a friend!

You know when you’ve just posted about how much your little ones are pissing you off then you find out that an old friends child is currently lying in a hospital bed her mother terrified of what is happening to her child.

I will continue to post about my children annoying me. And how proud I am of them, as that is life.

However just for today this post is for my friends

I want to take time for them to know even though I’ve not seen them or phoned them every day. I think about them a lot! They were a rock when I needed one. And they have looked after my husband and I on several occasions.

I don’t pray, however I will be sending positive thoughts for them.

In this world that seems to be full of badness please send your good thoughts for my friend & her child.

Please take a min when your children are annoying you and remember how lucky you are that they are there.

I will be hugging my children a little more tightly today.

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Travel, Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday – I wan’t My Cardigan

Last night we went for a lovely drink on the beach front The kids played lovely, me and hubby were able to chat! By chat I mean catch Pokemon!

The sun soon went down and it turned a little chilly (probably about 20 degrees!)

I had brought J a hoody to put on and M had her denim Jacket – Unfortunately this wasn’t right! she wanted her cardigan.

I think she may have been a little over tired as all the way from the cafe to the car she repeated she wanted her cardigan. I offered her my shawl but it wasn’t good enough. Her denim jacket she protested “still feels cold” – I actually think she ment the cardigan felt more comfy.

So all the way home in the car she still wanted her cardigan!

Then we got home I gave her the cardigan – “but it’s too late now were going to bed”

You know when your kids get so tired they just focus on that one thing. but then the thing is just a word that they fixate on!

Yeh that!

This photo is pre “I want my cardigan”

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Leave a comment if you suffer with over tired object fixation!

 

Joining in with Brummy Mummy of 2’s Wicked Wednesday

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Days Out, Planning, Tips, Travel, Travel with Twins

Traveling with Twins – Surviving the Airport. My Top Tips!

Hola,

I’m Currently at 32 thousand feet M has control of my IWatch and J is sat watching Miles on his Electronic Nanny.

 

We left home at 7am and its now 2.30 in the afternoon.

It has been a long day already and we don’t land until after 4pm.

We are not new to traveling however each time we learn a little more about the best way to reduce the stress on our travels.

  1. Arrive in good time – There is nothing worse than arriving late and in a panic. Plan your trip – Are there road works? Do you have enough petrol? Fill up the day before if you want that extra 10 mins in bed!
  2. Bring activities for the little ones! – Our twins are 4 and I let them pack their hand luggage themselves. I do advise checking it before you get to the airport however as liquids and sharp objects are frowned upon through security. I also make sure they have their favorite comfort be that a teddy, a dummy for smaller ones or a blanket.
  3. Charge those Electronic nannies –We were early for our check in this morning (I know Un heard of!) J & M were able to

    entertain themselves with their Tablets & toys.

  4. Toilet stops – While Hubby cued with the suitcases I took J & M off to the toilet even if they say they don’t need it right then I tend to bribe them with a sticker if it means I’m not halfway through security with “mummy I need a wee, Mummy I’m gonna wee, Mummy I’ve wee’d” in my ear.
  5. Wheel your own! – Last time we were away I let My two pick their own wheeled cabin bags. This way they are more likely to carry their own stuff! – It makes them feel grown up and save me or Daddy carrying a thousand bags!SAMSUNG CSC
  6. Remove shoes, coats, etc. – when going through security You need to remove shoes if they have a substantial sole or if your kids are like mine and they have lights in their shoes they obviously have a battery in so they will need to come off too.
  7. Fold pushchairs- Babies should be removed from pushchairs and pushchairs folded and put through the scanner. This cam mean you need to empty it of blankets toys etc.– Yes you can take them to the aircraft door on most flights check your airline if unsure!
  8. Book the lounge. – It’s not as crowded there is complementry WiFi and the food and drinks are included. Sometimes you can get a good deal on the lounge if you are booking car parking – Ours came with the price of the car park this time round.
  9. Snacks – I put a couple of snacks in our hand luggage. airport prices are not cheap! SAMSUNG CSC
  10. Did I mention Toilet stops?
  11. Don’t rush to the gate – Normally by the time you’re on your way to the gate you have already been given your seat number so why rush. Those that board first are on the plane longer on the ground meaning more chance your little ones are going to get board or need a wee!

 

 

Right Seatbelt lights on M is now asleep as is daddy and J is not far behind – Come on kiddos were landing.

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Parenting 101, Travel, Wicked Wednesday

Holiday’s who’d have em!

So Yesterday we landed in our favourite place,

we got our hire car and let ourselves into our home for the next 10 nights!

We unloaded th car headed to the supermarket then had a walk to the beach for a late dinner.

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This one moaned,

He whined that we weren’t having pizza, he moaned that the machine that sells bouncy balls wasn’t there anymore, He sobbed loudly that his sausage was cut up!

You know you brood are loud when you haven’t even finished eating and the waitress brings the bill!

We get home and hubby take a shower, while he is getting into his pj’s M  calls from the toilet “Mummy I’ve had a poo!” We all know what that means , off I go to wipe the bum of said child when whooops,  aghhhhh. hubby left the bathroom floor so wet that one leg went in front of me and I ended up doing the splits in not a very dignified manner. I have to have a glass of wine to make myself feel better!

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Tuesday is a new day and after not much sleep we head outta the door to the park then to soft play as it’s too hot and windy to be outdoors.

Soft play ends and J loses the ability to put on his own shoes!

So we are off again with the whiney “I want you do it!”

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Hopefully we wont have this much drama all of or holiday.otherwise I will need another one without the kids to recover.

Oh wait I have a camping trip booked with the girlies.

So when the whiney, whingy, Crying doesn’t stop I must repeat to myself “I’m getting a weekend off soon!”

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Joining in with Brummy Mummy Of 2’s Wicked Wednesday

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Christmas

Itttsss Chrissstttmass, Well Its Christmas in July #TescoCIJ

Last week I was offered a chance to attend one of the many Christmas in July events in  London.SAMSUNG CSC

I must say it was a bit surreal, outside there was hot sunshine and people eating ice cream. Inside however it was snowing and there was christmas music playing and the smell of christmas lingered through the air.

I arrived at the venue not knowing what was going to be behind the doors. What I was greeted with was a vast amount of christmas trees, snow, and a winter lighting. Through a door into a room filled with a range of gifts in a mock fireplace. SAMSUNG CSC

I was offered a drink and given a brief description of what was in the room.

In the corner of the room was Arona Khan giving quick tips of how to wrap difficult gifts. SAMSUNG CSC

There were chocolates and biscuits to sample along with a bake at home cake.

 

This cake is amazing for mums like me who want a quick fix for a Christmas bake.

This microwaveable cake kit (Yes I said microwaveable) cooks in under 4 minutes and includes everything to make this amazing tasting and looking igloo! Including the backdrop and cardboard cutout figures  – It will be retailing at £3.99

I sampled some of this cake and it was delicious.

Through another door into the next room where there were cocktails being made and more food to sample.

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Along with these veg crisps was a bowl full of cocoa and Spiced Rum flavour crisps.

Part of the Tesco Finest Range these crisps are on my must buy list this christmas at only £4.

Along with the savoury snacks were a few sweet snacks and christmas isn’t christmas in our house until we have had our first mince-pie.

These mini mince pies are ideal if your anything like me and can quite easily eat your entire body weight in them before christmas eve. At least if they are mini you can eat twice as much. Right?

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There were also loads of the “free from” range. Tesco seem to be quite good at finding delicious free from products –

  • The Christmas free from gluten range includes.
  • Chocolate Yule Cake – £4.50,
  • Berry Cheesecake – £4
  • Iced Fruit cake Slices £2.60
  • Mince Pies £1.75

Around the corner was entitled “The Night before Christmas”

Here another faux fireplace decorated with snow and garlands await the special arrival.

In front of the fireplace a chair for santa to rest his feet while he eats his mince-pie and drinks his wine.

With a coffee table laid with an inviting cheese board.

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Then onto The children’s room where I think “he” had been already as there were open gifts around the room.

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This Snowman Milkshake gift set £12 – I think I might add this to My kids Xmas Eve basket this year!

There were toys for Boys and Girls of all ages.

Hot wheels and Dolls look like a good option for us this year!

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After a quick toilet stop after sampling all those drinks (hic)

And now its time for Christmas Morning. The table laid full of food and Bucks Fizz

I would love to have all this laid out on christmas morning. Brioche loaf, croissants with Jam, A big pot of tea mmmmmm.

Ooops sorry I went of into dreamy christmas land then.
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Even the Dogs aren’t over looked – with the decorate your dogs bone gift set! SAMSUNG CSC

Around another corner and into a little room is the main event!

The smell as I walked in the room made my taste buds jump!

So many enticing ideas, A brilliant range of side dishes there is even Christmas dinner in a box. Priced at £25 it includes Half bottle of champagne a christmas pudding and obviously the turkey and veg with accompaniments.  SAMSUNG CSC

On the table to try were some Christmas market inspired sausages. They really melted in your mouth. Another item for my christmas shopping list! £2.50 (400g)

On to the night after the day before.

Now I’m not a seafood fan but if you are this could be a showstopper for your boxing day table or a dinner party over the festive season.

It’s priced at £32.50 (1.44kg)

The slate and chrome 3 tier platter comes with-

  • A whole lobster
  • Dressed crab
  • A selection of king prawns
  • Smoked Salmon
  • Sweet, Tangy Marie Rose Sauce
  • Smoked mackerel Pate

 

Other Food Items That caught my eye were the dessert platter £12 It comes ready to serve on a slate effect board and includes –

  • Passionfruit cheesecake
  • Coconut panna cotta
  • Lemon mousse with a pistachio crumb
  • White chocolate blondie with white chocolate and fruit compote

     

 

 

 

 

On the Way up to get a cuppa was Michelle, the florist. She was showcasing the christmas range of flowers and plants. It looks like there will be succulents on my list too! Also these live trees at I think £15, I may need a couple for my front door!

 

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I also Came home with a goodie bag full of lovley goodies.


It looks like my shopping list will be pretty full before we even get to December.

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Check out my vlog of the day too.