Precious Moments

A letter to my big boy starting year one.

J, it’s almost time to start year one!

What a year it has been. When I first took you into nursery you were shy and not very confident without mummy.

Now look at you. You are confident in loads of things. You can say your lines in assemblies and school plays with loads of confidence.

You still love playing with your “misters” and I love that you can immerse yourself in that play.

You sometimes still need mummy more than Your twin sister M.

I know you are worried about what’s going to happen once your new baby brother & sister arrive. I’ll let you into a secret so am I.

But you are an amazing little boy and I’m sure you and the rest of us will adapt to the new life.

We’ve had a busy year. What with you learning how to swim. Playing the drums. And going on our family adventures. I can see a lot of your big brother in you and you idolise him and although this scares me a little I’m glad you have someone to look up to.

Just like mummy you love your food and often can be found at grandmas asking for an egg, a biscuit, or a bacon buttie.

You also have those boy moments when all you want to do is sulk or be a monkey. This is sometimes mummy’s fault as I get tired and ratty with you back. Sometimes I don’t realise how frustrated you are with things and I think you get this from me too! Mummy is trying to parent you and M better.

J you are going to be amazing in year one. It may be hard work. But now you have started liking writing and doing sums and going to break time with the big boys and girls so you can have a pizza snack you will continue to grow.

Love you little dude. I’m so so proud of you.

Mummy xx

Precious Moments

A letter to my big girl starting year One!

M you have come so far in the past year. You have grown up so much that I feel I want to sprinkle you with fairy dust and keep you the age you are for ever.

You have found a love for colouring and writing and I’m so proud of how well you spell and write. ( Your writing is sometimes neater than mine!) you love to sing and give huggles.
Sometimes at night when you won’t go to sleep and Your twin brother has gone to sleep already I often tell you to snuggle in with me for a little while before daddy gets home. Sometimes your still wide awake and when he comes in your blue eyes twinkle at him and you end up having a horsey ride into your bed even though daddy has been at work all day long. (You’ve proper wrapped him around your finger)
M you are so helpful helping grandma iron & helping load the washer. You often want to help me with jobs around the house. Your helpfulness extends by being mummy’s spider catcher. You have no fear of any insects and think nothing to picking them up. Although I do wish you wouldn’t keep wanting to keep them all in jars as pets 😉
You have enjoyed joining rainbows the past year and love going. You were so proud on your first parade.
There are times that I get cross with you. It’s normally when mummy is tired or busy but I am trying to be calmer with you.
You are so excited for your baby siblings to come I hope when we’re all tired from no sleep you are still as eager to help.
I’m looking forward to seeing how you cope with year one because if the past year is anything to go by you are going to do amazing things.

Never forget how proud I am of you.

Love you loads

Mummy x

Pregnancy

A quick update – I just can’t find the words.

Ok. I cant find the words at the moment to fill you in fully. 

I am just going to run through the details so that for those that have asked I can let you know without typing replies and messages over and over!

So. After a quite difficult pregnancy pregnant with our second set of twins I’m now nearing the end. 

All the way through scans have reported that twin 1’s placenta has been high. On the last scan i had at 34 weeks i was told that in-fact the placenta was low. And not just low it was covering “the os” which means the opening of my cervix.

Chatting to different people i have been told they don’t move down so it must have been low to start with and other sonographers have reported falsely. 

So at 34 weeks i got booked in for a c section for 37 weeks. 

The following week i had to go for steroid injections to help improve babies lungs. I attended my appointment on the Wednesday 

Wednesday evening I had a few niggles. I coped until the Thursday when i had to go back for my second injection. While  there I informed the midwife who sent me for monitoring 

The next day the drs came round and my consultant decided I needed an MRI 

After spending another few days at a bigger hospital with more resources should I go into labour (The pains were just niggles)

While there they found my iron level was very low and id need a 4 hr infusion. 

Also they did an internal ultrasound to confirm the placenta was in-fact low. 

I was sent home on the Monday with an appointment for the next day at Sheffield Royal Hallamshire hospital. With the top Dr in the country that performs this kind of MRI. 

The lovely Dr took us into a room after the scan and informed that it was bad news.

My placenta is deep into my uterine wall and therefore i would be having my c Section on site at The Jessop Wing of the hospital where they have an amazing team of people that perform surgery that I need. 

It will be not only a c Section with major blood loss anticipated but a hysterectomy and possibility of a bladder repair as some of the vessels from the placenta also look like they have invaded the bladder. 

After my MRI I went home and was told to attend my consultant appointment the following day and to pack a bag and prepare to return to Jessops the next day. 

Jessops is nearly 2 hours drive from our house so both myself & hubby packed a bag. 

The next morning (Wednesday) I woke from about a two hour sleep and headed to my mums where my other two had been staying overnight while I had been in hospital. I brushed M’s hair ready for holiday club and put it in plaits I cuddled my children tight and me and daddy took then to holiday club. In my head thinking if I don’t make it. At least I know that last morning at home was fairly normal for them.

We both kissed them goodbye and said we didn’t know if at my appointment they would like to keep me in to see the babies a bit longer.

To be honest the kids took it in their stride and didn’t seem bothered.

Sorry.  I wasn’t going to go into emotions but I felt the need to share my fear! 

So i headed to my appointment where after having to get results faxed through and numerous phone calls between my consultant and Jessops I was eventually told to head over.

Once here at Jessops I had the most intense 3 hours of my life. 

Chats with surgeon and anaesthetist about what the state of the placenta is. The possible risks involved in The surgery from damage to bladder to  needing lots of blood transfused. I mentioned that my fear is I don’t make it through. He reassured me they do around 6 of these a year and around 30 in the 5 years they have been performing this kind of surgery  and they haven’t lost anyone. He said thats why I am here as its one of only 3 hospitals in england that perform the op.

So basically Im now at Jessops awaiting this intense surgery next week. I am to do nothing so that a) I don’t bleed and b) I don’t go into labour. 

They do have an emergency plan in place should I do but by next Wednesday they will have a more  advanced medical team on hand.

He said it takes that long to get everyone in the right place at the right time and all equipment in the right place. 

Meanwhile i have been given an amazing room on my own where hubby can stay with me. 

What I know about the op. 

  • It can take anywhere from 4 – 7 hours. 
  • I will be asleep
  • I should be awake the same day but if my body is not responding they may keep me asleep until the following day 
  • They expect I could get out of bed the following day as getting up and about as soon as possible aids recovery 
  • My op will be in a different part of the hospital to where I am currently and where the babies will be taken after the op
  • Hubby will go with babies who will go to special care as they may need help waking up from the anaesthetic and maybe a little help breathing 
  • They will move me back up to near the babies as soon as I am able 
  • Following on from this their main priority is getting babies out making sure myself and babies are fit and healthy. Followed by getting myself and babies back together as soon as they can.
  • I wont be home for a minimum of 10 days following the op
Sorry if this post is all over the place. I Just wanted to get out something of what I know. While its still in my head. 
 
 
 
Thanks for reading 
 

 

 

Precious Moments

To my step son On results Day and becoming 17!!

Hey C,

How the hell did you become this young man all of a sudden??

I don’t often tell you how proud I am of you. Instead we normally laugh with you about your lack of geography knowledge. No C Ohio is not the answer to every question.

When I first came into your life you were a little terror. Much the same as your little brother is now. Except your hair was a lot more ginger than his.

I was given a role in those early days that I wasn’t ready for. I often got frustrated that you were more than just a boy who did boy things. You needed constant attention. I had only just moved in with your dad and now I was to care for this boy that wasn’t mine but not be able to have much say in his upbringing as you live with your mum mostly.

You did bring challenges to me and your dads life.

However all that hard work we all went through including your mum has made us strong. We all get along now. And that’s down to you!!

You are the jigsaw piece that connects us all together.

You dote on your brother and sister and no doubt will dote on these next 2 as well.

Anyway today you are off to get your GCSE results and I just want you to know how well you have done despite the ADHD. Whatever results you get you can do what you want. (When you work out what that may be!) I’m sure your results will get you into your college course and one day hopefully you’ll be earning enough to at least buy the pizzas on pizza Friday nights.

Next week you turn 17. And will be able to start your driving lessons. Then your world is your oyster. No more taxing for dad or nanny!

Good luck on the next chapter of your life C.

Proud to call you my stepson. And so glad I stuck with the hard times when you were younger to see you become the polite and helpful young man you are now. Even if sometimes we don’t see you until lunch time. And that’s only if there has been food mentioned. 😉

Nina xx

Pregnancy

The amazing moving placenta & the waiting game

It’s 6am and I’m laid in an unfamiliar hospital bed. You see I went into my local hospital with a sharp lower back pain on and off and a few cramps like period type cramps that Werner really regular.

The pains came on on Wednesday 16th but as they Werner regular and I had an appointment already on the Thursday I just waiting until then. Where they sent me round to the maternity ward to be monitored.

I spoke briefly about about my placenta being low in a previous post. However while I have been monitored and babies have been monitored I have had a few Drs and my consultant unbeknown to me looking at my previous scans and notes.
They decided Friday afternoon that I should have an MRI scan to check the position of the placenta fully. As non of the photos were clear enough.
They are worried Incase it’s attached to organs or my previous section scaring – this could cause major bleeding
So while I had breakfast lunch & dinner at hotel NHS they went off to try and book this.
Unfortunately they came back and being a weekend with several bigger hospitals staff to do the MRI on leave (as I’m not actually in labour or bleeding I’m non emergency) we have to wait until Monday. But because there is a high risk of placenta bleeding if I go into labour I have to stay in.

Well not only stay in but be transferred to a different hospital over an hour from my home & my children where if I do happen to labour or bleed they have more measures in place to cope.
So at 6am I lay here in a bay in a ward by myself. Hubby left at about midnight as he just couldn’t get comfy.

I am laid here on a Saturday morning in the quiet not the normal mummy can I have my I pad. Mummy can I have breakfast at grandmas. Mummy can I watch telly in your bed.
And although family & friends keep saying make the most of it. I can’t help laying here anxious about what’s going to happen Petrified of worst! And laid here missing my big babies and feeling guilty that we chose to have more and now I’m having to be away from them.

Drs will be due after breakfast and I think they are going to tell me that not only do I have to wait for Monday for a scan but when I go for it I will have to got to yet another bigger city hospital for it!

Let’s hope it’s all ok and not attached and I can go home and rest for a week and a bit while I wait for my planned section that I had only just started getting my head around.

Is much rather wake up to these two. Noise or no noise.

Pregnancy

Birth Plan – C Section

As I said in my last post this pregnancy is coming to an end and it looks like a planned C Section is the way these babies are destined to be born!

I can barely remember any good bits from my last Birth This time I would like to try and hold on to the good bits and block out the bits that are very clinical!

So I’m creating a bit of a birth plan to hand to the medical team so they can try and make this time round a little more positive.

Here are a few things I want on my plan!

C Section.jpg

  • Need to be able to put feet flat on the floor during insertion of spinal block. – Last time I remember my legs shaking so much because you need to arch your back but I was only able to tiptoe on the floor so it took so many attempts to get the needle in
  • If possible I would like hubby with me at the spinal block  –  Some of the above shaking was due to being scared If hubby was with me at least he could hold my hand through the process.
  • I want hubby to be able to take photos in theatre. I didn’t have any of my older twins until I was in the ward.
  • Once born could they lift over the screen to show me. I just like the idea of being able to see them straight away.
  • Would like skin to skin once born. I can’t remember having this with first two either I believe its important for bonding and well-being to get those first moments of skin to skin.
  • Photos of me two babies and hubby  Again no photos of the first set until back on the ward.
  • I would like to get up out of bed as soon as physically possible. I want to be able to go home as soon as possible and getting out of bed helps with healing.
  • I would like hubby to stay at least the first night. Due to the scar, night feeds would mean having to rely on calling the midwives  it would just make it easier if hubby was there to support that first night.

 

I have to go and have an injection to help form the babies lungs today and then a follow-up tomorrow. At the follow up we will discuss the Section with the midwives. I will be going over this plan with them.

Follow me on Instagram for updates on these appointments and to follow the birth story!

 

Nina

Pregnancy

End of pregnancy Cuppa & Chat!

I will apologise now how before you start reading about how rambling this post is.

Back in May, I posted about my surprise twin pregnancy since then I have only really updated in one blog post and a few social media posts.

It’s not been an easy pregnancy emotionally.

IMG_0141

I have suffered my mental health and coming to terms with the fact that this is again a twin pregnancy and all the things I won’t be able to do again with 2 babies.

I have suffered from bad hips, pelvis and sciatic nerve which has added to my poor mood.

I want to get back into my blogging and vlogging but during this pregnancy, I’ve lost my “voice” some what!

I’ve really not enjoyed this pregnancy – It hasn’t been what I thought! I have just felt like I didn’t want my blog to become somewhere just to rant about what a crap time I’m having especially as some would do anything to be pregnant at all.

Things outside pregnancy have been on hold due to not being able to walk or drive so I’ve not had anything else to talk to you about!

So that’s where I’ve been. Now my pregnancy is coming to an end and it looks like not in the way I wanted.

At my last scan twin 1 was breech and it looks like my placenta is covering my cervix which means the only safe way to deliver these babies is by another C Section this has now been booked and I have to prepare mentally for.

Last time I went along with whatever the medical professionals said or planned this time I would like to have a bit of a birth plan.

I want the skin to skin time when they are first born – last time I was shown them then they were taken away.

There are a few things that I would like to ask about this time around. I have blocked a lot out from last time.

This time I hope that hubby can take a few photos so that I can remember.

Let’s try and end this pregnancy on a more positive note that it has been!

Sorry I did say this post may be a bit rambley

I hope now I’ve got this all out I can find my words again and start blogging on a regular basis.

 

Nina

Precious Moments, Pregnancy

Have I missed something?

26 weeks pregnant with our second set of twins, I read a post about the last time you pick up your baby or have them on your lap. 


While I’ve been pregnant I’ve not been able to lift up my (5 year old) babies. And my ever growing belly means no one can fit in my lap. 
When the new twins arrive and I can start picking up my first twins how much will they have grown. Will I still be able to lift thier weight? Will they have grown that much they no longer need me to pick them up?? Reading that blog post I can feel the tears pang of the things I’ve missed while being pregnant. 

The times that daddy has carried them to bed because I simply couldn’t lift them.  

Lifting them to see over a fence. Because on the other side is something special but ordinary. 

I feel like I’ve  missed a lot this pregnancy and feel that when these new babies are here I really need to make up some time with the first set. 

Nina

Wishlist

Father’s Day Gift List – 10 Clutter Free Ideas

As I am trying to reduce the amount of stuff that’s already in our home I also need to reduce stuff coming into our home.

So with that in mind and fathers day fast approaching I need to think of alternate gifts this fathers day.

10 Clutter free Father's DayGift Ideas

10 Clutter Free gifts for dads

  1. Tickets to the cinema or theatre show – This could be a family outing or something he goes to as a date night or with friends.
  2. Tools – I don’t know about you but in our house tools tend to go missing like socks! Could you replace some of his tool kit? You could wrap it in a unique way like a tool hamper.
  3. How about a Flight or Driving Experience  – I bought hubby a glider flight last year.
  4. Keep his pocket clutter in one place with a Tray tidy, or coin tray.
  5. A crate of his favorite beer – This wont take up much room for long I expect!
  6. On a similar note what about a gift hamper of his favorite snacks.
  7. Does he already buy a magazine from the shop each month? why not buy him a years magazine subscription?
  8. Gift Cards are a great non clutter gift – My hubby works in london and often nips out for a costa, A gift card for a month worth of coffees could be a great gift.
  9. Clothing gifts don’t have to create clutter if its something he really needs Like a new pair of slippers, or a new tie for work –  Quick tip, Use a one in one out policy for your wardrobe. That way you wont ever get overwhelmed by clothing pieces.
  10. Buying for Hubby? Date night tokens are a great gift – Plan a few months of date nights, print out and place in a jar or envelope then he can just take one out each month.

That’s my 10 ideas what else can you think of?

Leave in the comments below.

 

Blogging, Friends, Goals, Health & Wellbeing, Precious Moments, Pregnancy, Travel, Travel with Twins, Wellbeing

Jan – May recap June Action Plan

It’s been an odd start to the year!

  • Firstly we celebrated New Year at our second home Lanzarote.
  • We came home and I managed to sneak in a couple of days working at the local Theatre doing Panto (My Favourite time at the theatre)
  • Then I was late on my monthly cycle
  • So took a pregnancy test 
  • Then went for an early scan to make sure there was only one
  • And we found out there were 2
  • Had a lot of tears
  • Sold my beloved Delilah – She wouldn’t have lasted another year  😦 img_1649
  • Went back to Lanzarote for February Half Term
  • Took the twins on their first visit to London 
  • Started work on the house to prepare for an extra two people
  • Stayed in denial about the two new lives growing in my tummy
  • Attended BlogON
  • Finally bought something for the new twins

So now were in June and I need to pull on my positive pants (If they fit because of this ever-growing tummy)

I need to embrace this pregnancy and start feeling as excited as people keep telling me it is!


So I’m devising a plan!

I’m not going to lie my mental health has gone down hill since finding out about these two new people. I’m worried about PND and the hard work that it was with the last set of twins.

This month I am going to try to tick off a list of things that will help me feel more positive.

June List

  • Finish playroom decorating  ( I have enlisted the help of a decorator
  • Decorate and move the office
  • Decorate and furnish Nursery
  • Move kids toys into playroom
  • Declutter and purge kids toys  – I am currently obsessed with Allie Casazza and want to try and live a more minimal life – I’m not going as far as one plate per person (so my friends won’t need to bring a plate with them) but I’d like to adopt some concepts into our life!
  • Carrying on with the Minimalist theme I want to redo my wardrobe – I know this is not really practical at over 6 months pregnant but I know some pieces that I will probably never wear again. and when the twins arrive and I lose the bump I will be able to top up my wardrobe with some key autumn pieces (Minimalist  shopaholic!)
  • I will continue my search for the perfect but affordable vehicle for our expanding family. – We currently have a Vaxhaul Zafira which although is 7 seats, its 7 seats and not enough boot space to fit in a suitcase let alone a pushchair!  I would really like a VW Caravelle but I want to pay cash and the price for a decent one is out of our cash price range!

Events in June

  • Friends Little One’s Christening – Both Hubby and I are God Parents
  • Mum’s 65th Birthday
  • Hubby’s Dad’s 70th Birthday

So looks like a busy month I also have numerous appointments in June with Diabetes checks, consultant appointments, midwife appointments and scans all already booked in!
I have also been slacking at swimming due to focusing all my time on the decorating and building work. I think it has had an impact on my mental health so I would like to go back to swimming at least twice a week. Even it’s only just to take the weight off my bump!

 

What are your June plans, goals?

Do you have any tips for me to get through the month?

 

Nina x